Is something that I have NEVER said!
But maybe it is time to stop putting ourselves down and actually be nice to US!
I am far harder on myself than anyone else is, my worst critic and I bet you are the same. I'm never the right size or shape, never clever enough, moan too much, don't treat people well enough, could do better! I have wonderful people in my life that tell me I'm fabulous yet I never believe them. The scary thing is that maybe if I tell them enough times that they are wrong then they will start believing it ... and then where would I be?
Why am I so hard on myself?
I had an argument with D the other month (I was being typical me and driving him crazy - see, there I go again!) I was totally down on myself and said I didn't feel that I had achieved anything in my life. He disagreed and said that I cooked tea every night and look at the lovely things I'd bought for the house!
I mean what!! Really!! This was very uncharacteristic of him, I think I'd annoyed him quite a lot but this tiny list of achievements really shocked me and actually annoyed the hell out of me (and still does, can you tell?)
I think that this was perhaps a slight turning point in my attitude to myself. It's taken a while as I only actually realised it this morning. Because at the end of the day we don't need someone else to tell us our achievements, the best person for that job is YOU! (or in my case me)
When I started to think about it I have achieved many things in my life, in fact the list is endless as every moment I keep adding to it. I think some of my favourites are:
- After some difficult times, finally finding a man I love who loves me and marrying him.
- Carrying and giving birth to two beautiful children.
- Rearing those children, managing to find a way to be able to stay at home and do this myself.
- Running my own business which helps 100's of people.
- Generally being an all round good person.
OK there are no masters degrees or high flying careers in there (I've been a director of my own company in the past though so been there, done that) but to me the things on my list are important. I think they make me a worthwhile person.
So from now on I am determined to not be so hard on myself. Instead of listing the things that I haven't done I will keep listing things that I have done. I will take each day at a time and stop worrying about things I cannot change. Yes I have physical issues but right at this second I have no magic wand to change them so why not just accept them as part of me.
Is it time that you took a good look at your life and realised that you are totally incredible?
Tell me about yourselves, I want to see those lists. :)
2 comments:
Wonderful blog post Anna, moved me to tears a little.
Its so difficult to be positive about yourself and all the amazing things you do and achieve every day. I could add plenty to your list just from the online time we spend together.
As for my list
1. I am a single parent successfully raising my daughter
2. I am sensitive, friendly, kind, and helpful
3. I volunteer and give my spare time.
That was tricky to do without all the despites, ifs and buts!
Thank you for posting this Anna, its given me a lot to think about
Joy xx
Thank you Joy :)It is hard to not point out the (usually imagined) bad stuff isn't it but we need to practice at focusing on the good stuff and finding more and more of it every day. I think you are wonderful!xx
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