What a morning it's been! Yes, I know, its only ten to eight! But it really has, pass me the valium! (Or at least the Quiet Life tablets, wonderful, wonderful things!)
Now don't get me wrong, I adore my children with every breath in my body. They are the best thing I have ever done and I would never be without them but sometimes they make me want to explode!
Take this morning, the small one wakes up to go for a wee at 5.50am! Noisily, as usual so mummy is now awake. Then I need to get up for one (as you do). Back to bed and its still dark so nice and restful? Nope! He's up again, running round to my side of the bed. "Mummy, I need a poo!" So off he goes. I'm then up out of bed to wipe his bum (he just can't seem to get this!) and he's back to bed again.
Five minutes later, he's up again. " Mummy, I need another Poo!" you know the drill, Rinse, wash and repeat! Well, not literally but you know what I mean. Then not long after, he's at it again! Only this time he is refusing to put his PJ bottoms back on! We then have an arguement about this, dad also joins in. Finally, the trousers are back on. By this time, the elder one is up. He can't do anything quietly so the whole house is now up.
I then eventually get my cuppa as daddy is on his way out to work. (You have escaped you smug person!) Now to face the day properly, I need this! No, I NEED THIS! I also like to read quietly while I drink it and I get up at precisely the same minute every day. But just recently the small one has started to come in and try to disrupt this! " I haven't had any breakfast yet!" 1.5 minutes later " I still haven't had any breakfast". This goes on until I totally freak out and storm out of bed. Then I am attempting to sort my face out in the bathroom. Something else that requires my full attention. Screaming, banging and they have been playing a fighting game and the small one is hurt! Arrrrghhh! Then I am in the kitchen about to tackle the washing up. (Which is the highlight of my day! It really is! ) Small head pops round the door, I am still hungry!
It is at this point that I begin to wonder if I am actually a person at all! Have I just become a 'thing'?. Some integral part of the house that is there to serve. If only I had the patience of 'Andrew' in Bicentential Man. (I think my family would prefer him too, less shouting for a start!)
And so here I am at 8.04! They are still here until school time so who knows what wonders they will delight me with. :)
To all of those other mums out there - Respect, ladies. We all deserve medals, trophies, new clothes, chocolate (lots and lots of chocolate).